


Pants

by fak3_y0u_0ut



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, I'm sorry for doing this to them slkjfslkdj, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Slow Burn, So much angst, and perhaps a tad external too we'll see how future chapters go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-08-24 06:57:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8362063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fak3_y0u_0ut/pseuds/fak3_y0u_0ut
Summary: “Am I gonna get my pants back too? Or are you just gonna keep those for yourself?” Ennoshita sarcastically asked as he started to grin.“I’m getting there, I'm getting there, calm down,” Tanaka said as he pulled the uniform pants out of his bag. Ennoshita took Tanaka’s out of his own bag, and the two exchanged pants. “Happy now?” Tanaka asked.





	1. Keys

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am writing a slow burn Ennotana fic that no one asked for yet here it is, bc my boys need the love and attention they deserve. Plus I haven't written anything in a while since school started and I really want to get back into it, so I'll try my best to find time to write and update as regularly as possible. I am so sorry for any pain I may cause in future chapters *sweats*

There were nights where Ennoshita absolutely hated being at home, and the second day of high school was one of those nights. He wished he had somewhere to go, but he was stuck laying in bed in his room. Sleep escaped him, no matter how desperately he wanted to just fall asleep and wake up somewhere else. Instead, he just laid in silence, wishing to fall asleep. That is, until his phone buzzed. He squinted at the bright screen to see an unfamiliar number had texted him.

**Unknown:** Are u Ennoshita Chikara? ??

Ennoshita blinked at the bright screen, wondering who could possibly be texting him around midnight.

**Ennoshita:** Yeah….who are you?

**Unknown:** ok

**Unknown:** Did u lose ya keys??

Ennoshita rubbed his eyes and scrunched his face in confusion. He had lost his house keys, and climbed through his bedroom window to get inside. It was easier than knocking on the door and telling his dad he lost his key. But how did this number know he lost them?

**Ennoshita:** Actually yeah but...who is this? And how did you know ??

**Unknown:** WAIT REALLY

**Unknown:** IVE BEEN SEARCHING ALL NIGHT

**Unknown:** I ASKED LIKE,,TEN PEOPLE ON THE TEAM AND GOT SEVERAL PEOPLE’S NUMBERS THRU THEM BUT I FINALLY FOUND U

**Ennoshita:** What???

**Unknown:** I’m wearing ur pants.

**Unknown:** also I’m Tanaka Ryuunosuke btw

Enno blinked at his phone. Tanaka was the loud, rambunctious guy he met on the volleyball team yesterday. He was in his grade, if Enno remembered correctly.  _ The bald one with the muscles and nice jawline _ , Enno thought before mentally slapping himself. His thumbs hovered over his phone. How was he supposed to answer an almost-stranger who claims they’re wearing his pants?

**Ennoshita:** Okay Tanaka Ryuunosuke

**Ennoshita:** I’m gonna need a little more of an explanation

**Tanaka:** O yea lol sorry

**Tanaka:** I think I accidentally put ur pants on after practice today

**Tanaka:** Halfway home I realized there were keys in the pocket and they weren’t mine since I keep mine in my bag

The story actually made sense to Ennoshita, it explained why his keys were missing and why his pants felt too tight after practice. Enno suddenly felt self-conscious and embarrassed, knowing that Tanaka probably noticed his pants were a little too big. He tried shaking the feeling as he responded.

**Ennoshita:** Ohhh

**Ennoshita:** Then yeah those probably are my pants

**Tanaka:** Sorry about that lol. I hope u got inside ur house okay

**Ennoshita:** I climbed through the window

**Tanaka:** Oh...

**Tanaka:** Fuck now I really feel bad

**Ennoshita:** It’s fine lol don’t worry

**Tanaka:** But I feel bad…

**Tanaka:** Fr I’m sorry

**Tanaka:** I’ll be more careful before getting into ur pants next time

**Ennoshita:** …

**Tanaka:** Wait

**Tanaka:** don’t take that out of context

**Ennoshita:** Too late lmao

**Tanaka:** Dammit. Lol I’m sorry dude 

**Tanaka:** Anyways,,,,

**Tanaka:** I’ll return ur pants to u tomorrow, and ur keys, I would hate for you to climb through the window again

**Ennoshita:** Ok sounds good, thank u

**Tanaka:** Why thank you? I’m the one who accidentally stole ya pants and ya keys 

**Ennoshita:** Bc I thought I lost them forever and that would’ve been bad

**Tanaka:** Hmmmm

**Tanaka:** I guess that’s true

**Tanaka:** Anyways I’ll give them back dw

**Ennoshita:** Okay

**Ennoshita:** It’s rlly late so u should sleep

**Tanaka:** U should too

**Tanaka:** So

**Tanaka:** Goodnight Ennoshita Chikara, I am sorry I got in ur pants by accident

This had to be one of the dumbest conversations Enno ever had with someone, but for some reason, a smile tugged at his lips. This Tanaka dude was kind of funny, in his own stupid way. His shitty night seemed a little better. Before drifting asleep, he send one more text to his new teammate.

**Ennoshita:** Goodnight Tanaka Ryuunosuke, it’s okay, just make sure you ask first next time. Consent is important.

* * *

 

Tanaka swung his teammate’s keys around his finger as he made his way to the locker room after school. He didn’t remember much about Ennoshita from the two days he had known him, but he did remember he had dark, thick hair, and knew he had enough of a sense of humor to joke about Tanaka getting in his pants. Tanaka shook his head, angry with himself that he already made himself look like a complete fool to one of the team members.  _ I could’ve at least waited until after the first week, _ he thought. Tanaka walked into the locker room to see Ennoshita was already pulling on a t-shirt for practice. 

“Hey, Ennoshita,” Tanaka said as he set his stuff down next to Enno. He held out the keys as Ennoshita turned to him.

“Oh, thank you,” Ennoshita said as he took the keys and put them in his bag. “Am I gonna get my pants back too? Or are you just gonna keep those for yourself?” Ennoshita sarcastically asked as he started to grin.

“I’m getting there, I’m getting there, calm down,” Tanaka said as he pulled the uniform pants out of his bag. Ennoshita took Tanaka’s out of his own bag, and the two exchanged pants. “Happy now?” Tanaka asked. 

“Yes, thank you,” Ennoshita said as he gave Tanaka a sleepy, genuine smile for a moment. Tanaka noticed for the first time how dark and gorgeous Ennoshita’s eyes were. The outer corners of his eyes turned down a bit, giving him that sleepy expression.

“S’no problem,” Tanaka quickly said after staying silent for a moment, and started changing himself. “Again, I’m sorry, I should’ve noticed they weren’t mine when they didn’t quite fit right.” 

“You mean they were loose on you?” Ennoshita asked, raising an eyebrow, a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

“Hey, I didn’t want to offend you or anything,” Tanaka said, raising his hands defensively after putting on an off-white long sleeve shirt.

“It’s okay, I’m not offended,” Enno said, waving his hand. “I know I’m cursed with having a huge ass.” Tanaka made it a point to over-dramatically lean back to jokingly check out Enno’s ass.

“You’re huge ass is nice though,” Tanaka said as he straightened up. Ennoshita rolled his eyes, but he felt his ears turn pink.

“You have a very...bold and straightforward sense of humor,” Enno said. Tanaka laughed.

“Yeah, that’s just the kind of guy I am I guess...do you not like it?”

“No, it’s okay,” Ennoshita said as he starting laughing too. “It’s funny in it’s own weird little way. I’ll see you at practice.” He gave Tanaka another smile before walking out of the locker room.

“Yeah, see ya…” Tanaka replied as he watched Ennoshita leave. He found himself actually checking out Ennoshita’s ass now, and noticed how much it filled out his shorts.  _ He really wasn’t lying when he said he had a huge ass, _ Tanaka thought, shaking his head as he began to tie his shoes. He concentrated on tying the laces, trying to get that thought out of his head. Whether he had a huge ass or not, Tanaka could get used to this Ennoshita dude. He didn't seem to hate Tanaka’s obnoxious personality, at least not yet, and had a sense of humor. Tanaka really appreciated that in a person, so he was hoping to befriend Enno as soon as he could, right after the short guy with spiked hair. That guy seemed like a fun time, potentially someone he could even annoy Ennoshita and the rest of the team with. Tanaka smiled as he walked to the gym.  _ Maybe high school won’t be too bad after all... _


	2. Frozen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My schedule died down so I finally had time to finish this chapter, and I'll hopefully update more regularly since November is a pretty quiet month :) Special thanks to Thalia for giving me a study session idea for this chapter, it really helped me get from point a to point b to get the story moving along. Anyways I'll stop rambling and let you enjoy :0

Tanaka stared blankly at his math homework one night. He knew he wasn’t “smart,” but it was only a month and a half into the school year and he was already completely lost in math. If he couldn’t get at least somewhat back on track, he was screwed. The person he grew closest to on the volleyball team was Nishinoya, who was in the same boat as him, so asking him for help would be pointless. Tanaka groaned as he tried to think of someone he could ask for help. Asking a second or third year would be just plain embarrassing, but he wasn’t close to most of the first years either so that would be embarrassing too. As he was rattling his brain, he remembered Ennoshita was pretty smart. Could Tanaka ask him? Tanaka looked at his phone on his desk, hesitating to pick it up. He didn’t have much to lose, Ennoshita has already seen Tanaka make a complete dumbass out of himself on multiple occasions. And as far as he knew, Ennoshita didn’t hate him. Tanaka picked up the phone to text Ennoshita, deciding that was his best option. _Besides_ , he told himself, _I don’t care what anyone thinks of me_.

    **Tanaka:** Hey Ennoshita

    **Tanaka:** Ur smart right?

After a few minutes, Tanaka’s phone buzzed with a response.

    **Ennoshita:** I’d like to think I am, at least a little bit

    **Ennoshita:** Why do you ask?

    **Tanaka:** Well,, I was wondering if possibly u could maybe help me with math??

    **Ennoshita:** Really? You’re asking me?

    **Tanaka:** Yeah, I’m so lost and I know ur in a way more advanced class than me and u seem like an intelligent human being who can pay attention and do homework regularly

    **Ennoshita:** Yea that sounds like me

    **Ennoshita:** So you want help?

    **Tanaka:** p l e a s e

    **Ennoshita:** Ok, I can help u at lunch and after practice and stuff

Tanaka sighed in relief, extremely grateful that Ennoshita agreed to help him. But that math homework wasn’t getting done, so Tanaka decided to make a bold move.

    **Tanaka:** Do u want to come over right now?

Tanaka waited for a response, but this one seemed to take much longer than the others. _Was that too forward? Or desperate?_ Tanaka thought. He shook his head, telling himself he was being ridiculous. _I’m just asking for help with homework._ After a couple minutes, his phone finally buzzed again.

    **Ennoshita:** Sure

Smiling at his phone, Tanaka sent Ennoshita his address. He was happy that perhaps he would actually pass his classes, as long as Ennoshita was willing to help him.

* * *

Ennoshita stared at his phone. Tanaka wanted him to come over and help with his homework. His thumbs hovered over the keyboard. Would trying to leave his house be a good idea? He ran his fingers through his hair as he tilted his head back, hesitating to respond. Part of him wanted to help Tanaka, part of him didn't even want to attempt to leave. But then the realization hit him. Ennoshita snapped so he sat straight up, eyes widening.

_This is my ticket out for the night._

He quickly responded to Tanaka, telling him he would come over. As Tanaka sent him his address, he gathered his stuff into his bag. Enno quietly crept down the stairs, and quickly tiptoed to the back door. He looked back towards the living room, which is where he assumed his father was since the TV was on. He opened the door and slipped out, gently closing it behind him. He sighed in relief, thankful his father didn’t notice him leaving and didn’t ask where he was going. He wasn’t technically sneaking out, he just didn’t have the will to discuss where he was going. As Ennoshita walked to Tanaka’s house, he quickly texted his mother he was going to a friend’s house to help him study. His mom replied after a couple minutes, probably in between customers at her job.

    **The Mothership:** Aw that’s nice :-) Text me if you want me to make you anything for when you come home  <3

Ennoshita smiled as he quickly responded with an “okay” and slipped his phone back into his pocket.

* * *

“But I don’t _get_ it,” Tanaka whined as him and Ennoshita worked on his math homework. Ennoshita rolled his eyes.

“That’s because you were playing slither.io when I was explaining it to you.”

“I was close to getting on the leaderboard!”

“Oh my god, just stay off your phone so you can actually focus,” Ennoshita said. Helping Tanaka was a lot harder than he expected.

“Fine,” Tanaka sighed. He was slowly getting his work done, Ennoshita having to aid him quite a bit. Some problems, Ennoshita completely gave up and just told Tanaka what to write down. Helping Tanaka actually learn and absorb the information would be quite a process that can’t be done in one night, and Enno quickly accepted that.

Another issue they ran into is that both of them easily got distracted by each other. They formed a habit of slipping into conversations that had nothing to do with math. Ennoshita learned how rambunctious Tanaka really was, hearing wild stories of his childhood and all of the bones he broke on the playground.

“I broke my wrist when I fell off the monkey bars, but I still got a dollar from the kid who said he would give me a dollar if I walked across the top of them. When I was a kid I was infamous for doing almost anything for a dollar,” Tanaka explained. Ennoshita laughed, finding it easy to picture a little Tanaka collecting money to pull some stupid stunts.

Tanaka learned that Ennoshita spent hours on end watching movies with his mom, and still holes himself up in his room on weekends to watch more. “She took me to the midnight premiers of some of the Harry Potter movies, a couple times I was even dressed up as him. She even took me to some R-rated movies when I was like, eight,” Ennoshita said, laughing at the memories.

“Dude, that’s amazing. Your mom sounds so cool,” Tanaka said. Ennoshita laughed.

“Yeah, she is. She’s pretty much the reason I love movies and cinematography so much.”

“Do you want to like, be a director or something?” Tanaka asked. Ennoshita felt his ears turn red and his stomach churn. He didn’t expect Tanaka to be so engaged and interested in what he was saying.

“Actually, yeah. Directing would be amazing…” Enno trailed off.

“That's awesome. Well, if you’re a movie expert-”

“-I wouldn’t call myself an expert-”

“-I don’t care. Anyways, I have a couple questions.”

“Okay…?” Ennoshita said, wondering where this could possible be heading.

“Is Frozen truly worth the hype or is it overrated?” Tanaka asked. Ennoshita burst out laughing, and answered.

“It’s severely overrated, it’s not a bad movie, it’s good, but not worth all of the hype it got. The saddest part is, all of that hype overshadowed Big Hero 6, a truly beautiful Disney movie that _deserved_ hype and attention and got _none_ ,” Ennoshita carefully explained, showing he clearly put a lot of thought into this topic before.

“Big Hero 6 was so good! I wish it got as much attention as Frozen!” Tanaka excitedly said.

“I know right!”

“Okay, okay, new question.”

“Shoot.”

“Is The Bee Movie a cinematic masterpiece?” Tanaka asked in such a serious tone, Ennoshita wasn’t sure if he was joking or not.

“Well, it’s one of the greatest movies of our generation, but certainly not the best.”

“Then what is the best?”

“Shrek, obviously,” Enno said with a straight face. After staring at each other for a moment, they burst into a fit of laughter. Wen they started calming down, they tried getting back into working.

Ennoshita continued to show Tanaka what to do, and found that he couldn't stop smiling. He was happy there with Tanaka, happy to be out of his house, happy to be helpful, happy to have a friend. He stole some glances of Tanaka, knowing he would hate himself for it later, but for now that didn’t matter. Ennoshita was happy at that moment, helping his funny, nice, attractive teammate in his house. A twinge of guilt hit him, since he pretty much used Tanaka as an excuse to get out of his own house, but he tried burying that feeling inside him for now. Sure, Tanaka was an excuse to get out of his house, but he was having a good time and he liked to think Tanaka was too. _Just enjoy the moment,_ he told himself

Tanaka half payed attention to what Ennoshita was explaining, and just watched him speak. He seemed to have a warm, radiant smile stuck on his face. A smile tugged at Tanaka’s own lips. Enno’s sleepy smile seemed to be contagious. Every so often, Ennoshita would run his fingers through his ebony hair, pushing it away from his slate eyes. Something about Enno made it hard for Tanaka to look away. He perplexed Tanaka far more than the math homework did, but Tanaka didn’t mind. Tanaka shook his head, and tried to focus on his work, and enjoyed the moment. He was happy Ennoshita agreed to come help him tonight, and he hoped he would again in the near future.

Tanaka would soon  wish he had looked at Ennoshita more that night, if he would've know that he wouldn't see that warm, genuine smile again for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that ending wasn't too abrupt but o well lol. As always, thank you so much for reading, and look forward to more in the future! And thank you for being patient :D (school is lowkey killin me but i gotta give ennotana the love and attention they deserve u feel me)


	3. Lollipop Wrappers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this longer chapter makes up for my lack of updates *sweats* Thank you to everyone who has already left kudos and really nice comments, you guys are too sweet :) I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and as always, thank you so so much for reading !!!

Tanaka grit his teeth as he changed for volleyball practice.  _ Ennoshita isn't here again _ . Practice sucked nowadays for Tanaka, and not because the old coach was a hardass. No matter how hard him and Noya tried to get the other second years to come back, they wouldn’t. The gym felt weird without them. Tanaka missed Narita and Kinoshita too, he really did, but something about Ennoshita skipping made his heart sink. The gym felt empty to Tanaka without him. He was pulled out of his thoughts when Noya slapped his back.

“There's no time to mope around, we gotta go to practice now,” the libero said as he started to walk away. Tanaka followed, murmuring “you’re right.” Despite his wise words, Tanaka could see the grimace on Noya’s face. He was upset too. This was hard on both of them. As he walked into the gym, Tanaka buried his feelings deep inside him, and put on a positive persona. He couldn't be the one to bring the team down anymore than they already were.

After a long, uneventful practice, Tanaka trudged home. He shoved his hands in his pockets, clenching his jaw in frustration.  _ If he would just come back…  _ Tanaka wished he wasn’t so hung up on this, but all he wanted was for Ennoshita to come back. He could slowly feel them drifting apart and he hated it. He didn’t want his friend to slip away for something as stupid as him not coming to practice. Tanaka couldn’t help but wonder if Ennoshita was  _ trying _ to distance himself. He was much more quiet during lunch than usual. Tanaka clenched his fists, wishing there was something he could do. Ennoshita just seemed so  _ sad.  _ Maybe it was all in his head, maybe he was just overthinking, but something told Tanaka he wasn’t over-exaggerating.  _ And all I do to help is just nag him…  _ he thought to himself. He hated himself for not doing anything else, but he didn’t really know what to do. Anything he thought of sounded crazy and obsessive and clingy, and what if he was wrong? What if Ennoshita was fine? Tanaka thought back to the conversation they had at the end of lunch earlier that day.

 

_ “Are you gonna show up today?” Tanaka asked, unwrapping a lollipop and sticking it in his mouth.  _

_ “Nope,” Ennoshita simply said, staring vaguely in the direction of the floor. He looked at Tanaka as he placed the wrapper to his lollipop on Ennoshita’s thigh. He tossed it at Tanaka as he said, “And I’m not gonna throw your trash out for you either.” _

_ “Pretty please?” Tanaka said as he stuck his bottom lip out and started pouting. _

_ “I’m not going, okay?” Ennoshita said, slightly annoyed. _

_ “I was talking about the wrapper,” Tanaka said. _

_ “Really?” _

_ “Well...more like half was for the wrapper, the other half for practice,” Tanaka admitted as he placed the wrapper on Ennoshita’s thigh again. _

_ “No and no,” Ennoshita said as he gave the wrapper back. Tanaka sighed. _

_ “Are you ever gonna come back?” he asked softly. Ennoshita stayed silent and stared at the floor once again. After a moment, he gave Tanaka a tiny shrug. Tanaka watched Ennoshita carefully, trying to read his expression. He looked...conflicted. Tanaka decided not to press him anymore about it. Once again, he placed the crumpled wrapper on Enno’s thigh. “Will you at least throw this away for me?” Ennoshita rolled his eyes, but a small smiled tugged at his lips. A grin spread across Tanaka’s face as he realized he was about to get his way. _

_ “Fine,” Enno said as he got up to head back to class. Tanaka did the same, and the two walked through the busy hallways. Every so often, Ennoshita would brush up against Tanaka as he avoided bumping into people. They walked in silence, until they were almost at Tanaka’s classroom. He broke the silence and said “Hey, Ennoshita?” _

_ “Hm?” Ennoshita said, keeping his head facing in front of him. _

_ “How have you been doing?” Tanaka simply asked. He sounded genuine and soft, almost as if he was upset. Ennoshita stopped dead in his tracks, and turned his head to face Tanaka. He looked shocked, his mouth hung open a bit, like he was surprised that someone actually cared about his well-being. Tanaka stopped too. _

_ “I’ve been fine…” Ennoshita said slowly, his expression still looking surprised. Tanaka frowned. _

_ “Are you sure?” he asked. Ennoshita’s expression softened as he gave Tanaka a broad smile, his eyes squinting shut. _

_ “Yeah, I’m okay, don't worry about me,” Enno assured. “See you tomorrow,” he said as he walked to his own class, giving one more smile to Tanaka over his shoulder _ .

 

Tanaka’s brow furrowed as he played the memory over and over again in his head. When he sunk his hands deeper into his pockets, he felt a small ball of paper in one of them. He pulled it out of his pants and unraveled it, seeing that it was his lollipop wrapper from either. A smile tugged at his lips, knowing that Ennoshita must’ve slipped it into his pocket in the hallway. It made him happy that Enno still joked around with him. It made Tanaka feel like maybe they weren’t drifting after all. Tanaka stared at the wrapper, and his face fell again. He replayed what Ennoshita said after putting the wrapper in his pocket.  _ “I’m okay, don’t worry about me.”  _ He clenched his fist around the wrapper as he remembered the look Ennoshita gave him. Tanaka grimaced at the memory. It was the fakest smile he had ever seen.

* * *

 

Reading became boring. Air conditioning became boring. Studying became boring. Pudding became boring. Ennoshita stared blankly at his ceiling while lying on his bed. He wasn’t sure what he should do anymore. Skipping practice had been fun for a little while, but Ennoshita soon felt empty. He felt worse than he had in a long time. Enno knew he couldn’t continue like this for much longer, since he kept telling his parents that the team had off for several days. They wouldn’t buy that lie much longer if they bought it at all.  _ Should I go back? Can I even go back at this point? _ Absentmindedly reading and eating in the kitchen when he had the house to himself wasn’t fun after a couple days. Locking himself up in his room when his dad was home grew old quickly. The extra study time he had didn’t help him, it just bored him. Sucking at practice wasn’t fun, but neither was being home. Ennoshita felt conflicted. Was that old coach even still there? Would it be worth it to go back? Enno’s train of thought was interrupted when he heard someone softly knocking on his bedroom door. A soft voice said, “Chikara? It’s me.”

“Come in,” he said, sitting up. His mother came in, holding a pudding cup and a spoon.

“You still don’t have volleyball practice?” She asked, sitting on the end of Enno’s bed.

“Nope,” Enno casually said, hating the fact that he kept lying.

“It’s been a while, is your advisor on vacation or something?” his mom asked, a sweet smile on her face.

“Y-yeah, something like that…” Ennoshita said as he looked down at his sheets.

“Well, I hope it starts up again soon,” she said, standing up. “I know you’ve made a couple nice friends there.” She handed Ennoshita the pudding cup and the spoon and ruffled his hair.

“Th-thanks…” Ennoshita said, smiling up at his mom.

“I have to go work on some stuff for work now, okay?” she said as she began to walk to the door.

“Oh, okay,” Ennoshita said as she closed the door behind her. He heavily sighed as he opened up the pudding. He stared at it before eating it. Enno thought his mom was way too good to him. He knew she knew he was lying through his teeth, and Enno hated it. She didn’t call him out or scold him, instead he got a pudding a pat on the head. Ennoshita hated it, he didn’t deserve it. He angrily ate his pudding as he continued to loathe himself.  _ What am I even doing?  _ He thought about what his mom said about having friends there. Maybe Tanaka and Noya had the right idea begging him to come back. He set his empty pudding cup and spoon on his nightstand and layed down on his side. 

Everything seemed to come crashing down at once. No matter what he did, everything seemed to hurt Ennoshita. He had a decision to make: what was the least painful thing to do? Ennoshita buried his face in his pillow, thinking.  _ What hurts the most?  _ The coach’s tight regiment? It did suck, but perhaps Ennoshita could deal with it. Being shitty at volleyball? That did hurt his self esteem quite a bit, but maybe if he went to practice enough he would improve one day. Lying to his mother’s face? That one hurt a lot, there was no way getting around it. The hurt look on Tanaka’s face every time Enno said he wasn’t going to practice? Ennoshita tucked that thought away, not even wanting to go there. Staying home and relaxing? It did feel nice when he was alone, there was so much less stress on his body. Being home when his dad got home? That definitely hurt some days, Enno hated dealing with it. Ennoshita groaned into his pillow. His decision wasn’t really hard, he just wished the answer was different; going to volleyball practice was much less painful than staying home.

* * *

 

Tanaka swore his heart stopped when he heard a familiar voice say “Sorry I skipped!” He snapped his head around to see Ennoshita standing in the doorway of the gym. A huge smile spread across Tanaka’s face as Ennoshita left to get changed. He felt as if he was in a dream, it was too good to be true. But when he saw Noya smiling as well, he knew it had to be reality.  


When Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita came into the gym, Tanaka and Noya where the first to smother them. Tanaka threw his arm around Ennoshita, telling him he was happy he's back. This took Ennoshita by surprise, Tanaka had done this a couple times before, but he doesn't remember Tanaka’s grip ever being that tight and intimate. Ennoshita started laughing, attempting to brush Tanaka off like him coming back was no big deal.

“I knew you'd come back,” Tanaka said as his arm slipped off Ennoshita’s shoulder and slapped him on the back.

“Did you really?” Ennoshita asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, no...but I was hoping you would,” Tanaka said, rubbing the back of his shaved head. Ennoshita looked at him in awe.  _ Did Tanaka really care that I was gone?  _

Ennoshita tried suppressing the smile forming on his lips as he sarcastically said “Don't get all sappy on me now, or else I'll leave again.” He shot Tanaka a shit eating grin, and after a moment they both started laughing. 

Surprisingly, it felt good to be back to Enno. It felt right. And the gym didn't feel empty to Tanaka anymore. For once, Ennoshita didn’t care about how many spikes or receives he missed. That practice was the most enjoyable one they had in awhile.

After practice, Tanaka and Ennoshita walked home together until their routes parted ways. “So why did you come back?” Tanaka asked, dragging his feet across the gravel on the road. 

“I thought you wanted me to come back?” Ennoshita said.

“I did, don’t get me wrong, I just...I’m curious as to what made you want to come back…” Tanaka said, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Well…” Ennoshita hesitated, choosing his words carefully. “Being home all the time is, well, boring…” he slowly explained. “Also, I missed you guys,” he added sheepishly, smiling at Tanaka. Tanaka could see that his smile was genuine this time. He still didn’t look happy, but Tanaka could tell he really did miss the team. Tanaka smiled back.

“So my begging and pleading didn’t help?” Tanaka asked, batting his eyelashes.

“Nope, not reallly,” Ennoshita laughed as he kicked a small rock. Tanaka kicked it again after it stopped tumbling.

“Not even a teensy bit?” 

“Maybe just a little,” Ennoshita said as he looked at Tanaka with half-lidded eyes, and the corners of his lips curled into a smile. 

“I knew it,” Tanaka said confidently. They laughed a bit as they approached the spot where their paths split up. They both stopped walking for a second when Tanaka said, “Well, no matter what the reason is, I’m glad you’re back. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah…” Ennoshita said, looking at the ground while he kicked at some gravel. Tanaka waited and watched Enno. He looked like he wanted to say something. “Uh…” Ennoshita started as he shoved his hands in his pockets and shifted his weight back and forth. “Yeah, I’ll...I’ll see you tomorrow,” he finished with a half-assed smile. He turned and began to walk away until Tanaka’s voice stopped him.

“Hey.”

“Huh?” Ennoshita turned around to face Tanaka, still stiff with his hands in his pockets.

“Ennoshita, if...if you ever need anything, uh, I’m always here for you, okay?” Tanaka said slowly. His voice sounded much more tender and gentle than his usual boisterous personality.  


“Oh...uh, okay...Thanks...” Ennoshita replied. He wished he sounded more sincere because Tanaka’s words meant a lot to him.

“Okay...I’ll see you tomorrow then…” Tanaka said and gave Ennoshita one last smile and turned to walk home.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow…” Ennoshita said, standing still. He watched Tanaka’s back as he walked away, swallowing the words that kept desperately trying to push their way through his lips.  _ I think I missed you the most. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the true angst begins. I am So Sorry.


	4. Hot Fudge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy it's been awhile since I last updated. Thank you for bearing with me, I promise I'll make it worthwhile, or at least try my best to do so. Anyways, thanks for reading as always, and I've gotten so many nice comments so far and I love reading them so much. You guys are too kind and inspire me to keep writing :) Hope you enjoy the chapter!!

“Fuck OFF,” Tanaka yelled as he got bombed with a red shell in Mario Kart.

“NEVER,” Noya responded. 

“It doesn’t matter, because you both just lost,” Ennoshita said as he passed the finish line in first place. All of the first years were hanging out at Tanaka’s house, for a “Video Game Tournament™” as Tanaka would say.

“Can we move on from Mario Kart? Ennoshita is too good,” Narita groaned.

“Guilty as charged,” Enno said slyly. 

“Alright fine, we’ll take a break since my sister will be back soon with the pizza,” Tanaka said.

“We’ll get to see her again?” Noya said hopefully.

“Don’t be gross dude,” Tanaka said, shoving Noya.

“I’m not being gross, she’s cool!” Noya said defensively.

“If by ‘cool’ you mean ‘hot’”, Kinoshita snickered.

“That’s  _ not  _ what I meant!” Noya denied while his cheeks turned pink.

“You guys need to  _ stop _ oh my god,” Tanaka complained. “That’s my  _ sister _ you’re talking about.”

“Are you jealous that Noya is giving her more love that you?” Ennoshita said.

“I hate you guys so much,” Tanaka said. He heard the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. “I think she’s back, I’m gonna go help her,” he said as he got off the sofa and left the room. “I’m watching you, keep it in your pants,” he threatened, pointing at Noya. The other first years laughed.

As he helped Saeko bring the food in, Tanaka smiled to himself, happy that all the first years were together and having fun. It was the first time they had all hung out outside of volleyball or studying. He was glad that Ennoshita, Narita, and Kinoshita came back to the team and they were still friends with him and Noya. Once they came back, everything went back to normal, and it felt like they all became closer, like they were a small team of their own within the team. The thought of them all being close made Tanaka happy. “Food is served!” Tanaka said as him and his sister brought the pizza boxes in. They were swarmed by the hungry first years, pulling Tanaka out of his thoughts. Noya was the first to take the boxes out of Saeko’s hands to help her set everything down. Tanaka rolled his eyes and kicked Noya’s shin. “Ow! What? I’m just being helpful!” Noya said.

“Yeah, okay,” Tanaka said sarcastically. He suddenly felt significantly less sentimental. Saeko just laughed and ruffled Noya’s hair.

“Let Yuu be, he’s just being a sweetheart,” she said, only encouraging him.

“He looks like he’s about to combust,” Ennoshita murmured to Tanaka while nudging him. They watched Noya’s face, along with his ears and neck, turn red as a grin spread across his face.

“Yeah, he does,” Tanaka laughed. He looked at Ennoshita, who was giggling and smiling. It thrilled Tanaka to see him smiling. They made eye contact for a moment, freezing, and then burst into a fit of giggles. Tanaka beamed at Ennoshita.  _ He’s happy today. _

* * *

 

“Your house is nice, we should hang out here more often,” Nishinoya said as he wrote down some bullshit answers on his homework.

“Yeah, I don’t know why you never want anyone over,” Tanaka agreed as he tried hiding the fact that he was playing slither.io with his textbook. Noya and Tanaka were sitting in Ennoshita’s room for the first time, since they forced Enno to agree to let them come over to study.

“You should invited Narita and Kinoshita over too to play video games or something, it would be lit,” Noya said.

“I don’t have a game console,” Ennoshita said.  


"How are you so good at Mario Kart then?" Noya questioned.

"It's a gift," Ennoshita shrugged. “And stop playing that,” he said, vaguely annoyed as he knocked Tanaka’s phone out of his hand.

“Then we’ll do a movie marathon, since I know you have plenty of those,” Tanaka suggested.

“My house is barely big enough for four more people, especially people as...extra as you two.”

“We’ll snuggle, it'll be cute” Noya said. Ennoshita rolled his eyes.  _ They sure are persistent. _

“Truth be told, my parents don’t like having people over often,” Enno said. “Maybe I’ll invite everyone over some time, but not in the near future.”

“That’s a shame, it would be fun,” Noya said. “Where are your parents right now? Didn’t you say your mom would be home?”

“Work. My mom unexpectedly had to work overtime tonight.” Ennoshita explained. “The only reason she’s okay with you guys coming here tonight is because we’re supposed to be  _ studying _ .” Noya and Tanaka groaned.

“Fine,” Tanaka said, picking up his notebook and a pencil. Ennoshita raised an eyebrow. It usually wasn't so easy to get Tanaka back to work. But he didn’t argue, it was nice to get off the subject so easily. Tanaka gave him a quick look that suggested he knew Enno wanted to move on. Enno shook his head, thinking he was just making it up.  _ Tanaka is just a stupid high school jock, there’s no way he could pick up on emotions like that,  _ Ennoshita told himself, especially since he was so careful to keep his feelings to himself, but he wanted to be wrong. He really wanted to be wrong.

* * *

 

The locker room was quiet as the team packed up to leave. It was a heavy silence that no one dared to break. Ennoshita threw his bag over his shoulder, but before he could leave Tanaka approached him and leaned in close to whisper to him. “Hey Ennoshita,”

“Hm?” Ennoshita leaned in a little too to hear Tanaka’s unusually quiet voice.

“Do you wanna grab some food or something on the way home?” he asked quietly. He looked at Ennoshita with pleading eyes.

“Sure,” Ennoshita said after a moment. As Tanaka grabbed his own stuff, Ennoshita watched him. He looked tired, and his voice was soft and lifeless. Ennoshita frowned, hating how different Tanaka was acting. They left the locker room in silence. Enno decided to break it. “Are Kinoshita and Narita coming?” he asked innocently.

“I didn’t invite them,” Tanaka said blankly without missing a beat.

“Oh…” Enno said. Usually, all of the first years would be hanging out together, but today was different. Very different.

“Do you wanna go to that new ice cream place that just opened?” Tanaka asked, breaking the awkward silence.

“Sure,” Ennoshita agreed. Another silence fell between the two, but neither of them bothered to break it. They took a different turn than usual to go to the small ice cream parlor. The retro-themed shop was small, with a couple of silver accented tables and chairs scattered among the checkered tile floor. After briefly looking over the menu, they ordered and grabbed a table for two. Tanaka got a banana split and covered it in rainbow sprinkles, while Ennoshita opted for a simple hot fudge sundae. They ate in silence at first, until Enno decided to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

“Are you okay?” he asked in the most sincere voice. Tanaka looked up from his dish, caught off guard.

“What d’you mean? I’m fine,” Tanaka said, brushing it off while shoving a huge spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.

“Tanaka, don’t lie to me. It has to be hard for you. What happened today hurt everyone. I can only imagine what it feels like for you,” Ennoshita protested. Tanaka froze and clenched his jaw. Enno patiently waited for a response.

“Yeah, it is hard,” Tanaka admitted. “Nishinoya is my best friend-” he cut himself off, worrying he offended Ennoshita. “S-sorry, I didn’t mean it like-”

“It’s okay, I get it,” Enno assured.

“It’s just...he’s the only one on the team that really  _ gets _ me, y’know? I don’t know what I’m gonna do without him…” Tanaka trailed off.

“Well, what did you do without me?” Enno asked. It was an innocent question, but Tanaka looked at him for a moment, and shook his head and laughed.

“I bitched at you until you came back, and I bitched to Noya about how much I wanted you and the others to come back,” Tanaka answered as his face fell.

“You can bitch to me all you’d like if that helps at all,” Ennoshita said. Tanaka stayed silent. Ennoshita frowned. He was trying to help, but he just didn’t know what to do. This situation wasn’t a simple fix.

“What are we gonna do Ennoshita?” Tanaka looked up, defeat in his eyes. Ennoshita looked at him in confusion. “Noya was the only thing holding our defense together, and Asahi-san was our main offense. What if they don’t come back? What if they never work it out? What are we supposed to do then? What’s gonna happen then?” Tanaka asked questions that Ennoshita sadly didn’t have the answers to. Ennoshita looked down at his melting ice cream, as if the answers lied within the swirls of hot fudge. 

“We’re just gonna have to figure it out once the time comes,” he said solemnly. He looked up at Tanaka. “It’ll be okay. We’re a team, we’ll figure something out.” Ennoshita wasn’t really sure if he was talking about the whole team or just him and Tanaka being a team, or how Tanaka interpreted it, but it didn’t really matter. It was the best thing he could come up with at that moment. 

“You’re right,” Tanaka said after heavily sighing. They went back to eating their ice cream without a word. The deafening silence filled the air between them, and neither of them dared to look at each other. As he got to the bottom of his bowl, Tanaka finally broke the silence.

“Ennoshita?”

“Hm?” Ennoshita said with his mouth stuffed with his sundae. He quickly tried to gulp it down and licked the vanilla ice cream off his upper lip. The corners of Tanaka’s mouth formed a small smile as he quietly laughed, watching Ennoshita. He had a puppy-like cuteness to him sometimes. Tanaka looked down again as his face fell again. Enno waited for him to say something.

“Don’t...don’t leave again, okay? Please?” he said softly as his eyes looked up at Enno through his eyelashes. That was the softest Ennoshita ever heard him spoke. He sounded utterly tired and vulnerable. Ennoshita’s breath got caught in his throat as he tried to choke out a response, but he just ended up looking at Tanaka with his mouth open and his eyes wide. “I-I just...I just don’t know what I’d do without both you and Noya...I’d probably go insane…” Tanaka rambled as he looked away. “Just...don’t leave, please…” he finished. He looked like he was in complete anguish. 

Ennoshita felt useless. He wished he was able to help, but he felt nothing he could do would help. He lifted his hand off the table and hesitated for a moment, but continued to reach across the table. He gently placed his hand on Tanaka’s wrist and rubbed his thumb across his tan skin affectionately. “I won’t.” 

Tanaka quickly turned his head and looked at Ennoshita, taken aback. Enno was never the one to initiate physical contact. His eye’s locked with Enno’s rich, dark, sleepy eyes. He sat there, frozen, attempting to form a coherent sentence. He melted as Ennoshita continued to brush his thumb across his skin, comforting him. Enno’s words and actions meant the world to Tanaka, and he wished he was able to actually express that. He was only able to get one word out as his expression softened into a warm smile. “Ennoshita…” he breathed.

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise,” Ennoshita said as he gently squeezed Tanaka’s wrist reassuringly. 

“Good,” Tanaka finally managed to whisper. He felt his face get hot as a blush formed on his cheeks. “Thank you…” he said softly, looking down. 

"Mhm," Ennoshita hummed as kept rubbing his thumb across his teammate's wrist in response. Ennoshita’s words kept ringing in Tanaka’s mind, and they probably would for the rest of the night.  _ I’m not going anywhere, I promise. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why can't I just let them be happy smh
> 
> Also thanks for dealing with the excessive time skips since I seem to have developed a liking for them lol


	5. Ice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After eight years, I finally update. Thank you so much for being patient, this particular chapter took quite a long time to write. I had to do a shit ton of editing bc boi I was a hot mess writing this for some reason, there were mistakes and awkward sentences and plot holes left and right smh @ myself. It's fixed and ready for public consumption now, so pls sit back and enjoy :) Hopefully this is a nice break from some of the angst I've given you guys so far (although I can't promise you this chapter won't sting at all) and makes the wait somewhat worth it.

Tanaka’s hand stung as the volleyball he just spiked slammed into the polished gym floor. He pumped his fist into the air and shouted to celebrate. His current three-on-three match was going quite well for his side of the net. Practice was going smoothly, business as usual. Tanaka was loud and lively as always, but his actions were a bit forced. No one on the team had noticed it, but Tanaka was stiff as he bent his knees to be in the position to receive. No matter how hard he concentrated on the game, his mind wasn’t 100% there on the court. His fingers twitched as the same thought gnawed at his brain over and over again.  _ He’s not here again. _

This was the second day in a row Ennoshita was absent. It was only two days, but past events haunted Tanaka. Yesterday when he texted his friend, he said he was sick.  _ He’s probably still sick, it’s no big deal, it’s fine, _ Tanaka told himself. A little voice in the back of his head reminded him that being sick was Ennoshita’s excuse at first when he started ditching practice a few months back. If that voice was a person, Tanaka would knock their teeth out. He repeatedly told himself that Enno wouldn’t skip, and he couldn’t help but think back to the promise that was made in the ice cream shop.  _ He wouldn’t break his promise _ , Tanaka told himself. 

Nishinoya and Asahi have been absent for a while, and it was starting to take a toll on Tanaka. He wanted to believe Ennoshita, he really did, but paranoia got the best of him. He couldn’t bear the thought of watching his friend walk away from volleyball again, especially with Noya gone now. He would have no moral support. At that point, would it even be worth playing volleyball anymore? Tanaka shuddered at the thought. He tried calming himself down, remembering Enno’s claim was not disproved yet.  _ It’s not time to quit yet.  _ He shook his head and told himself he was being a drama queen, and focused on the rest of practice.

* * *

 

Ennoshita mindlessly flicked through different channels on TV. He ended up stopping on a crappy soap opera, which he had no idea what the plot was. He sighed as he pulled his comforter that he brought down from his bedroom to his chin and tried to sink into the couch cushions. The blanket felt like an oven, but he knew as soon as he took it off he would be shivering. The pounding in his head made it difficult to focus on the TV, not that he was interested anyways. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, ignoring the migraine in his head and focused on trying to settle the uneasiness of his stomach. He felt his face burning up, fearing that if he got any hotter his skin would melt off. He was just about ready to fall to his side, until he heard a knock at the door. Ennoshita just groaned and tried ignoring it. If it was one of his parent’s they could just use the key, and if it was anyone else, Enno wasn’t interested. But the knocking persisted, louder than before. Ennoshita groaned again as he pushed himself off the couch and wrapped the puffy blanket around his head, creating a hood and cape for himself. He shuffled to the front door, and he was not prepared for what he saw when he opened it. “Tanaka?” he said, his voice rough.

“Ennoshita!” Tanaka said as a huge grin spread across his face. The grin quickly faded as he noticed how pale Ennoshita’s face was, along with his irritated, puffy eyes. His hair was a mess, not to mention the blanket sitting on top of it. “Whoa, dude, you look terrible…”

“That’s because I’m sick, dumbass,” Ennoshita said, mildly annoyed. “Why are you even here?” he asked as he leaned against the door frame.

“I just wanted to check on you, and, uh, see if you were still sick and all…” Tanaka said, rubbing the back of his head. He nervously laughed at the end of his answer.

“You didn’t believe me when I said I was sick, did you?” Ennoshita said, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well...um, maybe…” Tanaka said as he stared at the ground. “But I also wanted to see if you needed anything!” he quickly added, looking up at Ennoshita’s tired face. “I mean, since you are sick and all, I wanted to see if you were okay and help you if you needed it…”

“Oh…” Ennoshita whispered. He suddenly felt embarrassed of standing in the doorway with an old tee shirt and pajama pants on, wrapped in a blanket. He knew he must’ve looked like Death himself, and quickly became self conscious of it. “Well, um, I appreciate it, but I’m fine, thank you.”

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Can I...come in for a couple seconds?” Tanaka inquired. He knew Ennoshita well enough to know that if he did need something, he wouldn’t say it. This was just his way of making sure. 

“Um, sure,” Ennoshita said, stepping aside to let Tanaka in. They walked to the living room and both sat on the couch. Enno wrapped the blanket around his head tighter as a chill rippled through him. Tanaka took notice to the box of tissues, thermometer, and medicine on the coffee table. He also noticed an empty cup.

“Do you want me to get you a drink?” Tanaka asked.

“Tanaka, you’re the guest, you don’t have to-”

“Too late, you’re getting one anyways,” Tanaka interrupted as he got up and took the empty cup to the kitchen.

“I’m capable of doing things for myself,” Ennoshita said as Tanaka set the full glass on the table.

“Well obviously you’re not though, and someone has to,” Tanaka said. He looked at the thermometer, and then back at Enno. “You got a fever?”

“Yeah, it’s not a big deal though-” Ennoshita said before Tanaka cut him off by brushing his messy bangs off his forehead. Tanaka placed the back of his fingers gently against Ennoshita’s forehead, who just looked up at him in awe.

“Dude, you’re burning up.”

“Yeah, that’s why I stayed home, obviously,” Ennoshita said sarcastically as he layed down on his side and curled up into a ball. He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping Tanaka would go away. He was an absolute mess, and Tanaka didn’t need to see him like this. Not to mention his pounding headache was turning him into more of an irritable asshole than usual. 

“Well yeah, I know that now,” Tanaka said.

“So you really didn’t believe me before?” Ennoshita asked as he snuggled further into his blanket. 

“It’s not that I didn’t believe you...I just get worried, y’know?” Tanaka responded. He wrung his hands nervously, hoping Ennoshita wasn’t angry at him.

“Yeah, I get it, it’s fine,” Ennoshita mumbled. His phone buzzed on the coffee table, but instead of reaching for it, he just groaned. Anything that required effort was too much for him. He opened an eye to see Tanaka picking his phone up and checking it.

“Your mom says she’s picking up more medicine on the way home,” Tanaka told Enno.

“Cool. Thanks.”

“Also, is there any reason you have your mom’s number saved as ‘The Mothership’?”

“Shut up,” Enno groaned as he rolled over. “Don’t judge me.”

“I’m not judging you!” Tanaka laughed.

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not! I think it’s cute.”

“Shut  _ up _ .” If Ennoshita didn’t already have a fever, his face would definitely be burning red right about now. After a couple seconds of silence, he decided to give Tanaka an explanation. “Her favorite movies are sci-fi,” he whispered.

“What?” Tanaka said, not being able to hear Ennoshita’s scratchy, soft voice.

“I said her favorite movies are sci-fi,” Enno repeated as he rolled over to face Tanaka. He rested his cheek on a pillow as he continued to explain. “When we used to watch movies together when I was a kid, the sci-fi ones were always her favorite. That’s why her name is ‘The Mothership’ in my phone,” he finished. He looked up at Tanaka through his eyelashes with a soft expression. Tanaka stared at him for a moment, stunned. Ennoshita looked really tired.

“That’s...so fuckin’ cute,” Tanaka said as a goofy smile spread across his face.

“I guess,” Ennoshita said. “One year for Halloween we even had matching Star Wars costumes.”

“No way,” Tanaka said, his eyes becoming wide with interest.

“Yes way. She was Princess Leia and I was an ewok. There’s a picture over there near the TV.”

Tanaka turned around and looked at the picture frames on the entertainment center. He found the one Enno was talking about and picked it up. He laughed as he looked at it. A woman with dark, ashy hair similar to Ennoshita’s was wearing the classic long, white dress and had her hair up in two buns. She had a blaster in one hand and a child in the other. The child was in a big, fluffy Ewok costume, a few wisps of dark hair peeking out of it on his forehead. Tanaka looked at Ennoshita and back at the picture, and smiled.  _ That’s adorable, _ he thought. “You weren’t kidding.”

“I never said I was,” Ennoshita mumbled as he pulled the blanket up to his chin.

“You’re a real mama’s boy, aren’t you?” Tanaka smirked as he set the picture down.

“Maybe,” Ennoshita said, pulling the blanket up to his nose hoping to cover any visible blush. He sighed as the pounding in his head continued, and raised a hand to massage his temple.

“Your head hurts?” Tanaka asked. Enno nodded. “The fever probably isn’t helping, hold on,” Tanaka said as he left the living room.

“I can take care of myself!” Ennoshita groaned as he squeezed his eyes shut. He heard Tanaka’s footsteps travel to the kitchen and back after a couple minutes. He opened one of his eyes to see Tanaka hovering above him.

“Here,” Tanaka said. Ennoshita opened his eyes and shifted himself onto his back and saw Tanaka was holding a dripping washcloth. Ennoshita just looked at him in confusion. Tanaka pushed his bangs back and gently laid the washcloth on Enno’s forehead. Ennoshita closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of the ice cold water against his hot skin. He hummed a sound of approval. “My sister always used to do this for me, and it always helped. Better?” Tanaka asked.

“Mhm,” Ennoshita mumbled, opening his eyes only half way. “Why are you even bothering to do this?”

“Because you’re my friend,’ Tanaka shrugged. A knot formed in Ennoshita’s stomach. He wasn’t sure if it was because of Tanaka’s last comment or because he was sick, but that didn’t matter. What mattered is Tanaka was friends with him. That fact never ceased to amazing Ennoshita.

“Thanks...but you should probably leave soon, before I get you sick. The new first years are coming soon, you shouldn’t be sick,” Ennoshita said. As much as he liked someone looking after him, he hated the idea of someone seeing him in such a disheveled state. And Tanaka had seen quite enough of his gross, sick self already.

“I don’t get sick, I’ll be fine,” Tanaka said, waving his hand in dismissal. 

“I seriously doubt that,” Ennoshita said.

“It’s true! I’m fine, don’t worry about it,” Tanaka assured.

“Okay, let me rephrase that then: I’d prefer it if you leave before the next time I throw up, which could very well be in the near future,” Ennoshita said frankly. The last thing he needed was Tanaka seeing him upchucking the small amount of food he ate. That would be the lowest point Tanaka could see him at, and Enno really didn’t want that.

“Oh, well, that makes sense then,” Tanaka said as he noticed the bucket waiting to be used next to the couch.  _ Whatever virus he caught is kicking his ass,  _ Tanaka thought, frowning. He wanted to stay, but he got the vibe Ennoshita didn’t want to be seen like this. “Is there anything you need before I leave?” he asked.

“Nope, I’m fine. Thank you,” Ennoshita said as he closed his eyes and focused on the soothing sensation of the cool washcloth still on his forehead.

“It’s no problem. I hope you feel better soon man,” Tanaka said as he got ready to leave.

“Thanks. See you later,” Ennoshita said softly, as if he was falling asleep.

“Yeah, see you later, and take care of yourself!” Tanaka yelled as he showed himself out. When he heard the door shut, Ennoshita let out a deep sigh. A smiled tugged at his lips. For someone who hated attention, he didn’t hate Tanaka’s visit as much as he thought he would. It felt nice to feel cared about. The smile on his hot face quickly faded as another thought crossed his mind.  _ Tanaka was only here because Noya isn’t around.  _ Ennoshita was nothing but a second choice, a pastime while Tanaka’s favorite person wasn’t around. If Noya was still on the team, they would be hanging out after practice instead of Tanaka killing time at Ennoshita’s house. Besides, Tanaka is friends with everyone on the time.  _ He’s too nice for his own good, he would've done the same thing for anyone else.  _ Ennoshita wasn’t special. He was just another teammate to Tanaka. Enno clenched his jaw as his thoughts spiraled out of control. He wanted to believe he was something special to Tanaka, even if he wouldn’t admit it to himself. But as far as Ennoshita thought, he wasn’t. To him, he didn’t really matter to Tanaka. Tanaka was just being nice, because that’s just the kind of good character he is. Ennoshita’s self pity party was interrupted by the feeling of bile traveling up his esophagus.

* * *

 

“Yo Ennoshita, I have this  _ foolproof _ plan,” Tanaka said confidently to Enno. 

“Should I be scared?” Ennoshita inquired. The two were chatting as they sipped on water bottles during a break at practice.

“Ouch. Have some faith in me dude,” Tanaka said, clutching his chest to exaggerate his pain. 

“Somehow I find that hard to do,” Ennoshita said while smirking.

“You’re the worst,” Tanaka said, shoving Ennoshita’s shoulder, who giggled in response. “Anyways, like I was saying,  you see Kiyoko-san over there?” Tanaka started, flicking his eyes in Kiyoko’s direction.

“Oh god, what are you gonna do to here this time?” Ennoshita said, pinching the bridge of his nose while sighing.

“Have some  _ faith _ . So, here’s the plan. I’m gonna walk over there and act like I’m about to say something to her, right?” But I’m gonna ‘accidentally’,” Tanaka explained adding air quotes, “trip and fall. She’s gonna try to catch me and we’ll touch and make eye contact and she’ll see me as a fun, goofy guy and it’ll be beautiful.”

Ennoshita covered his mouth to stop himself from laughing. “And you truly believe this will work?”

“Yes, because unlike you, I have faith in myself,” Tanaka said, jabbing Enno’s chest with his index finger. Enno just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“Don’t roll your eyes Ennoshita, it’s gonna be a heartwarming moment, just you wait and see,” Tanaka said, jabbing his finger into Enno’s chest.

“Whatever you say,” Ennoshita said sarcastically. “Y’know, just because Noya isn’t here, doesn’t mean you have to bother her twice as much.” For a split second, Enno saw the pain in Tanaka’s eyes and immediately regretted bring Noya up. But Tanaka being Tanaka, quickly bounced back to his cheerful self.

“That’s actually  _ precisely _ why I  _ have _ to,” he said, laughing. “Watch and learn,” he said while turning around on his heel.

_ Idiot _ , Ennoshita thought to himself, but he couldn’t help but smile at Tanaka’s back.

Tanaka confidently strutted over to their beautiful manager.  _ I got this _ , he told himself as he raised a hand and opened his mouth to say something. “Hey Kiyoko-sa-” he started before tripping over his own two feet, completely intentional of course. Everything was going according to plan perfectly, that is until Kiyoko reacted in a way Tanaka didn’t account for. She casually stepped to the side, letting Tanaka fall to the ground. Except he didn’t fall to the ground, since she was only a foot away from the wall. His face was heading straight for the wall. In a last ditch effort to recover, he threw his arms out in front of him and turned his head, but it was too late. He heard the sound of his skull hit the wall, and everything quickly turned black.

When he finally began to regain consciousness, Tanaka’s vision was hazy and spinning. He felt a sharp pain on the left side of his head as he saw a figure hovering above him. He groaned as he rubbed his eyes. As his vision cleared, he saw it was Ennoshita who was above him. 

“So you’re finally awake?” Ennoshita asked. He was sitting on his heels next to Tanaka, who was laying on the gym floor with a rolled up towel underneath his head. 

“What? What happened…?” he asked as he slowly pushed himself to sit up. He rested his back against the gym wall and carefully cradled where his head hurt.

“You tried pulling a stunt to get close to Kiyoko-san and ended up knocking yourself out on the wall,” Ennoshita said casually, smiling as he held back a laugh.

“Oh, yeah. That…” Tanaka said, turning red as he remembered the embarrassing moment. “I’m a dumbass.”

“Yes, yes you are,” Enno laughed.

“Hey! You’re not supposed to agree with me!” Tanaka whined. “At least I have a good story to tell Noya,” he sighed.

“Do you guys still talk?” Ennoshita asked, rubbing his hands together nervously. He didn’t want to upset Tanaka, but maybe talking about it is what he needed.

“Eh, sometimes we text,” Tanaka shrugged. “He’s a bit of a moody drama queen though, but I’m sure he’ll get over it soon. Or at least I hope…”

“Yeah, I hope so too,” Enno said.

“He’s sure to respond to this story though,” Tanaka said, laughing at himself. Ennoshita smiled, glad to see Tanaka still happy. After he calmed down, Tanaka rubbed his head, wincing as his fingers brushed the point of impact.

“Here,” Ennoshita said as he sat on his feet in front of Tanaka. “Let me help,” he said as he held out an ice pack, gently pressing it against the side of Tanaka’s head. 

“You already got an ice pack?” Tanaka asked as he tried not to wince at the sudden coldness. 

“I figured you’d need it once you woke up. The new first years are coming soon enough and I doubt you with a big swollen bruise on your head would make a good first impression. I’ve known you for some time now and I’ve learned a couple things, including how to take care of you after one of your common mishaps,” Ennoshita explained. He waited for Tanaka to take the ice pack out of his hand and hold it against his head himself, but he did. He just looked at Ennoshita, dumbfounded.

“You really do look out for me,” he said while laughing. “Every time I fuck up, you’re there to help me,” he continued with the sincerest tone. Ennoshita rolled his eyes and smiled. 

“Someone has to.” 

“If you keep tending to me like this people are gonna think you’re my girlfriend,” Tanaka said. There was a pause as Ennoshita tried to fight the slight blush forming on his cheeks. He suddenly felt like a clingy nuisance to Tanaka.

“Maybe you should get a girlfriend so I can stop taking care of you,” Ennoshita said. His response was forced, and Tanaka’s laugh was forced. Their conversation came to a halt. Usually it was so easy to talk to each other, but now there was a awkward silence between them. Tanaka finally raised his hand to take the ice pack from Ennoshita. He rested his elbow on his knee and leaned his head against the hand holding the ice pack.

“Where’s the rest of the team?” he asked, abruptly changing the subject.

“They went on a jog. I stayed here in case you woke up before they came back,” Ennoshita said as he stared at the floor. He played with the hem of his shorts between his fingers.

“Oh,” Tanaka said simply. “Thanks for staying.”

“It’s whatever,” Ennoshita mumbled.

“Ennoshita, listen,” Tanaka said in a serious tone. Ennoshita looked up at him. “I know I joke about it a lot and I may have just made it seem like it’s annoying but I really do appreciate the stuff you do for me.” Enno’s eyes widened, suddenly paying much more attention to what Tanaka was saying. “I don’t want you to stop. Without you I’d prolly end up dead or in prison or something.” Ennoshita snorted, which caused Tanaka to roar with laughter. They sat there laughing for a while, and when they would start to calm down, they would lose it again.

“Well then I won’t stop, I’ll make sure to keep you in line with the law,” Ennoshita said once he caught his breath. He smiled at Tanaka, who smiled back. He felt genuinely happy again. The validation from Tanaka made him feel so much better; he felt useful. But his face quickly fell as another thought crossed his mind. He feared that one day when a girl finally sees Tanaka for the sweet boy he is, he would drop Ennoshita. He knew this fear was irrational and he knew they would still be friends, but a selfish part of him kept him paranoid. He envied a girl he didn’t even know. He loathed the thought of someone else getting the validation he needed.  _ It’s not like I actually am his girlfriend _ , he reminded himself. He mentally scolded himself for letting his inner attention whore get the best of him, and tried repressing it as always.

“What’s wrong?” Tanaka asked, seeing the frown on Enno’s face.

“Nothing,” Ennoshita said as he got up. “Stay there. I’m gonna get you a water.”

“Are you sure nothing’s wrong?” Tanaka pryed.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Enno said as he began to walk away. Tanaka watched his back and furrowed his brow. Ennoshita scared him sometimes. Maybe nothing really was wrong, but if something  _ was  _ wrong, Tanaka wouldn’t know. He was always so willing to offer help, but never willing to receive it.  _ He never tells me anything.  _ Tanaka wanted to do something more for him, but at that time, all he could do was hope and pray that if something was really wrong, Ennoshita would reach out to him. It was wishful thinking on his part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys don't mind that I didn't move the actual plot forward much, I just really wanted to focus more on their relationship for this chapter. Finals are coming up along with the new semester, which means new classes for me, so I most like won't update again until February. I also may do some sort of one shot or little series for Valentine's day, so would anyone be interested in that if I got around to it in time? Okay I'm rambling now I'll try wrap it up jfdlkdfj. As always, thank you for reading and thank you for all the comments and kudos :) I'm so sorry if I didn't respond to a comment you left, I try my best to reply to as many as I can but if I don't see one for a while or forget to respond I feel a tad awkward responding over a week later :0 BUT JUST KNOW I SEE AND APPRECIATE ALL OF THEM AND THEY MAKE ME SMILE OKAY I LOVE U GUYS  
> (p.s: HAPPY SUPER LATE BIRTHDAY TO ENNOSHITA SINCE IT PASSED SINCE THE LAST TIME I UPDATED)


	6. The Calm Before the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Think of this more like chapter 5.5 and not chapter 6 because that's what it's intended to be. I wish AO3 had that option smh.

“If you would’ve told me a week ago that our first years were gonna be  _ that _ insane, I would’ve said you’re crazy,” Tanaka said, walking home after practice.

“That’s probably what Daichi-san said about you last year,” Kinoshita quipped.

“Douchebag,” Tanaka growled as he shoved Kinoshita, who was now laughing.

“He’s right y’know,” Narita chimed in.

“Assholes! Both of you are assholes!” Tanaka said, stomping each time he said “asshole.” Ennoshita smiled from a couple steps back. “Oi, Ennoshita! How y’doing back there?” Tanaka asked. 

“I’m fine,” Ennoshita shrugged. 

“Are you sure? You’re sorta limping,” Tanaka said, nodding his head towards Enno’s feet.

“Yeah I’m fine,” Ennoshita said, waving his hand in dismissal. “I just tripped on the stairs last night.”

“You seem awfully clumsy at home,” Kinoshita said.

“Yeah, I can’t count on one hand how many times you’ve told us about the times you tripped on the stairs,” Narita added. 

“Yeah well, I guess you could say I’m clumsy,” Ennoshita said stiffly, adding a forced laugh at the end. His palms started to sweat. He felt Tanaka staring at him. “But hey, at least I didn’t knock myself out against a wall,” he added, earning laughs from the other second years.

They all began to laugh and poke fun at Tanaka’s many mishaps, and even Tanaka couldn’t help but laugh. Tanaka watched Ennoshita out of the corner of his eye. He was laughing. He was smiling. Everything was normal.

* * *

Ennoshita stared at the wall across from him. The team was hanging in the club room before practice, but Enno’s mind was in another place. He sat on the floor with his hands wrapped around his ankles and his knees to his chest. His eyes were wide and glassed over. He didn’t even notice Tanaka when he sat down next to him.

“Hey, you good?” Tanaka said, nudging Enno.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” Ennoshita said, finally back on earth.

“You seem kinda quieter than usual lately, is everything okay?” Tanaka asked.

“Yeah, everything is fine. Just a rough week I guess…” Ennoshita trailed off.

“Tired?” Tanaka said. Ennoshita nodded. “Can’t focus?” Ennoshita nodded again. “I have to admit, the new additions to the team are tiring me out a bit too.” Ennoshita sighed. He looked at Tanaka. He seemed to believe Enno was just tired. _Good,_ Enno thought. Their casual discussion was brought to an end when the team started to go to the gym. Ennoshita walked behind Tanaka, who was in his usual, chipper mood. Everything was normal.

* * *

 

The first years started to blend with the rest of the team after several practices. They fell into a regular routine, as regular as you could get with the new oddball duo. Ennoshita did his best to fill in for Noya in receiving, but he knew it was no use. He wasn’t even close to Daichi’s skill, let alone Noya’s. Tanaka’s words of encouragement seemed to keep him trying though. During a break, Tanaka approached Ennoshita.

“Hey, Ennoshita, I need some help with my math homework tonight, would you mind coming over?” Tanaka asked. Ennoshita weighed his options quickly, and agreed. It took some time and effort, but Tanaka’s homework eventually got done. Ennoshita swiftly packed up to leave, explaining that he had his own homework to do. Tanaka thanked him for helping, and Ennoshita left. It was like any other study night. Everything was normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to add this mini chapter as a warning in a way before my next upload, which explains the chapter title. My next upload will be coming in the next day or two (or three don't kill me if it's a little late). When I post the next chapter, I'll be adding a couple tws in the tags. From this point on, the story is gonna dive into much heavier stuff without much warning so I just want to let people know now. Stay safe everyone <3 And as always, thank you for reading.


	7. Broken Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised a couple days ago, here is chapter 7 with updated tags, so please check them and stay safe!!! The only think I have left to say is: I'm so sorry.

Ennoshita’s heart was racing. His feet pounded against the macadam as he ran hard and fast down the street. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead. His breath was shaking and he felt like he was suffocated. He had nowhere to run, yet he kept running. His left hand felt wet and hot as it throbbed in pain. He finally slowed down as he came to an intersection, lit up by nothing but a street light. He spun and looked around several times, breathing heavily. _Where can I go? Where can I go? Where can I go?_ was the only thought in his head. A familiar voice rang in the back of his head. _“Ennoshita, if...if you ever need anything, uh, I’m always here for you, okay?”_  It was the last thing Ennoshita wanted to do, but he was out of options. He looked over his shoulder, and started running again as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

* * *

 

    Tanaka was laying on his bed, scrolling through his twitter feed when his phone rang. Ennoshita’s name popped up on his screen. Tanaka furrowed his brow. Enno never called him, usually if he needed to get ahold of Tanaka he just texted him. Tanaka accepted the call and held the phone against his ear. “Hello?’

    “Tanaka!” Ennoshita said on the other end.

    “What’s up?” Tanaka asked.

    “Listen, Tanaka…” Ennoshita said shakily. He sounded like he was out of breath. “You said...you said before...that if...that if I needed something...to let you know...right?” Enno said in between breaths. He sounded as if he was running as he was talking. Tanaka snapped and sat up. This wasn’t normal.

    “Y-Yeah! I did, what do you need?” Tanaka said. He thought it was good that Enno was finally reaching out, but he was worried. Ennoshita sounded like he was panicking.

    “Listen, um...” Ennoshita said, his voice cracking. He sounded like he was about to pass out. “Can I come over? Like, right now?”

    “Y-yeah, of course!” Tanaka said, stunned for a moment. He heard Enno sigh in relief on the other end of the call.

    “Great. Thanks,” Enno said. Before Tanaka could say anything else, Ennoshita hung up. Tanaka was left dazed and confused. Why didn’t Ennoshita just text him if he wanted to come over? Why did it sound like he was running? Why did he sound like he was panicking? Tanaka began to pace as these questions clouded his mind. Sooner than he thought, he heard the doorbell ring. _He must’ve already been on the way,_ Tanaka thought as he ran to answer the door.

    Nothing could’ve prepared Tanaka for what he saw when he opened the door. Ennoshita stood before him, breathing heavily, with a faint bruise on his cheekbone, a busted bottom lip, and with his right hand he held his left hand, which was covered in blood. “Hey,” he whispered, giving Tanaka a weak smile.

    “E-Ennoshita,” Tanaka stuttered. “What the fuck happened?” Ennoshita looked away. “Oh my god, I...just come inside,” Tanaka said, grabbing Ennoshita’s arm and pulling him inside. Enno winced, as if Tanaka would hurt him. Tanaka quickly guided him to his bed and sat him down. “Stay here, I’ll be right back,” Tanaka commanded. He ran around the house, grabbing a towel and a first aid kit. His heart was pounding. He had no idea what happened to Ennoshita, but that didn’t matter to Tanaka at the time. What mattered was tending to him. He ran back into his room and dumped everything on the bed. “Give me your hand,” he said as he stood in front of Ennoshita.

    ‘Tanaka-” Ennoshita whispered.

    “Just give me your hand,” Tanaka interrupted. Enno reluctantly held out his hand. Tanaka began to wrap a towel around it until he noticed little flecks reflecting light. “Is this...glass?” Ennoshita nodded silently. Tanaka stared at him for a moment. Despite him being confused, he guided Ennoshita to the bathroom and began to wash his hand, hoping to get rid of any glass shards. Ennoshita winced, but didn’t resist. Tanaka guided him back to the bedroom and sat across from Ennoshita on his bed. He tended to his hand, wiping it dry and wrapping it in gauze from the first aid kit.

    “Thanks,” Ennoshita whispered, retracting his hand and held it close to his chest.

“Ennoshita...what happened,” Tanaka said. Ennoshita stayed silent and looked down.

“Can I say here for the night,” Ennoshita asked softly. He knew he was ignoring Tanaka, but it was all he could get out right now. Tanaka sighed.

“Sure,” Tanaka said. No one besides him was home that night so it didn’t matter. He got up and got some clothes for Ennoshita. “Here,” he said, tossing some sweatpants and a tee shirt to Ennoshita, very similar to what he was already wearing. Ennoshita got up and began to change. Tanaka sat on the bed, waiting for Ennoshita to say something, but he remained silent. When Enno took his shirt off, Tanaka noticed the faint bruises blooming on his back. Tanaka hated absolutely everything about this situation. Ennoshita sat on the other side of the bed and hugged his knees to his chest.

“Ennoshita...you know we have to talk about this…” Tanaka said as gently as possible. Enno just laid down on his side so he was facing away from Tanaka and buried his face into a pillow. Tanaka laid down too and stared at the back of Enno’s head. He reached out, but stopped himself before touching Enno’s back. “Ennoshita...who did this to you…” Tanaka whispered. Ennoshita mumbled something under his breath that Tanaka couldn’t understand. “What?” Ennoshita rolled over so he was facing Tanaka, but refused to look Tanaka in the eye. He kept his hands close to his chest and focused on them instead.

“My dad,” Ennoshita said weakly. Tanaka was at a loss for words.

“Your dad did this?” was all he managed to say. Ennoshita nodded, still looking at his hands. Tanaka’s stomach twisted into a knot. Everything started to make a little more sense. “Ennoshita...you don’t trip on the stairs as much as you say you do, do you…?” Tanaka asked softly. Ennoshita squeezed his eyes shut and pursed his lips, and shook his head. Tanaka felt his heart break. He thought about the countless lies Ennoshita must have been telling, even ones he’ll probably never even know about. He clenched his jaw and squeezed his hands into fists. He was angry and sad all at the same time. Ennoshita looked so fragile in front of him, as if tapping him would cause him to break into a million pieces. Tanaka tried to think of something, _anything,_ to say. “I’ll kill him,” Tanaka blurted out as he felt his blood boil. Ennoshita laughed, but a sob slipped out in the middle of it.

“Tanaka, please,” he said with the most broken smile. He covered his mouth after a sob escaped.

“I’m so sorry, that was the wrong thing to say,” Tanaka said with a forced smile. He watched Ennoshita cover his mouth and squeeze his eyes shut. He was really trying to hold everything back. Tanaka knew he was no good with words, so all he could do was reach out and pull Ennoshita close to him. Ennoshita quickly reacted and wrapped his arms around Tanaka’s torso and buried his face into Tanaka’s chest. Tanaka rested on hand in between Enno’s shoulder blades and the other in his hair as the first sob ripped through Ennoshita. Once Ennoshita let go, he couldn’t stop violently sobbing into Tanaka’s chest. He inhaled sharply and uneven in between sobs, and practically screamed into Tanaka. Tanaka just let him get it all out and stroked his hairs, trying to hold back his own tears. Ennoshita dug his nails into Tanaka’s back and held on tight as if his life depended on it.

“I’m so scared,” Ennoshita said between sobs. “All the time. I hate it so much,” he continued, and when his voice cracked he began uncontrollably bawling again. Tanaka didn’t know much, but he could tell Ennoshita had been holding this all in for a long time. Everything was just one big act, and it all crashing down on that night. “I don’t wanna be scared anymore,” Ennoshita said softly after calming down. He was still gasping for air when Tanaka replied.

“You don’t have to be scared here, you’re safe here,” Tanaka said, squeezing Enno a little tighter to get his message across.

“I know, but you don’t get it,” Ennoshita croaked. “I feel scared everywhere I go, home, school, practice, it doesn’t matter. I’m constantly in fear of what will happen next. I can’t even be myself around anyone,” Enno rambled, hiccuping every couple words.

“Not even around me?” Tanaka asked. Ennoshita shook his head against Tanaka’s chest, a few wisps of his hair brushed against Tanaka’s jawline.

“You won’t understand. I’m sorry,” Ennoshita whispered. The tears began flowing again and he wept into Tanaka’s chest again.

“I don’t want you to be scared,” Tanaka whispered. “I’m so sorry Ennoshita, I’m so sorry you have to deal with any of this, you deserve so much better,” Tanaka said while holding Ennoshita tight, as if he let go the boy would fall apart. “I know I can’t fix everything, but I’m here for you, okay? If you ever need to talk, if you ever need a place to stay for the night, let me know, Hell, you don’t even need to let me know, just come over. I want you to be safe, and I want you to know I’m here for you, okay?” Tanaka said, pulling away and placing a hand underneath Ennoshita’s chin so they were facing each other.

“Okay,” Ennoshita said, voice cracking. His face was blotchy and red, and his eyes were puffy from crying. “Thank you so much Tanaka,” he said, pulling Tanaka close to him once again.

“Ennoshita...you’re shaking...here, get under,” Tanaka said as he pulled away to pull the blankets over them. “Better?” Tanaka asked as Ennoshita curled up under the blankets and pulled them to his nose. Enno sniffled and nodded. A million questions ran through Tanaka’s mind, but he didn’t know where to start. He didn’t know what could possibly set Ennoshita off again, and that’s the last thing he wanted. He shifted under the blankets as he weighed his options.

“You probably want an explanation, don’t you?” Ennoshita said quietly.

“How’d you know?” Tanaka asked.  
    “‘Cause I’m a genius,” Enno smiled. His smiled faded after a moment and he sighed. “It would be dumb not to give you an explanation at this point, wouldn't it?”

“Well, I can’t say I'm not wondering,” Tanaka said. Ennoshita sighed again.

“That’s what I was afraid of…” he trailed off. Tanaka scooted over so he was laying right next to Ennoshita. He placed his hand on Ennoshita’s arm and rubbed his thumb over it.

“You only have to tell me what you’re comfortable telling, you don’t owe me every single detail,” Tanaka assured. Ennoshita took a deep breath and rested his head on Tanaka’s chest once again.

“Okay...you just can’t tell anyone...this is...the first time I’m telling someone…” Ennoshita hesitantly said.

“My lips are sealed,” Tanaka said while running his fingers through Ennoshita’s hair.

“My dad...has always been...aggressive,” Ennoshita started, carefully choosing his words. “It’s just gotten worse as I’ve gotten older and he’s gotten more drunk. Nights like tonight are rare though, he usually doesn’t get that violent. This time there was broken glass and...a-and…” Ennoshita trailed off and shook his head. “Sorry...I...um…”

“It's okay,” Tanaka whispered.

“Um, anyways...I just...it just...I don’t know…” Enno stammered.

“It's alright,” Tanaka assured, wrapping his arms around Ennoshita and brushing his thumb across his shoulder. They laid there in silence for a couple minutes.

“He hits my mom too sometimes,” Ennoshita said in a tiny voice, breaking the silence. “I hate it so much, he yells too, I wish he would just leave her alone,” he said as he began to get choked up again. “She deserves so much better…” Ennoshita’s voice cracked and he gripped the fabric of Tanaka’s shirt and began to cry into it again. “T-Tanaka...I don't wanna talk about this anymore…” Enno choked out.

“That’s perfectly fine, you don't have to push yourself…” Tanaka held Ennoshita tight. “Thank you for telling me. Thank you for coming over tonight. Thank you for letting me help,” Tanaka said. He wanted to make sure Enno knew it wasn't a mistake coming to him for help. Ennoshita stayed quiet as he cried out what little tears he had left. His head pounded and his throat was raw from screaming and crying. His entire act, much like the glass that punctured his hand, was shattered. He let himself come undone in front of Tanaka. He kept it together for so long and completely destroyed it all in one night. He swore to himself he would never let anyone see this side of his life, yet here he was, completely vunerable, crying in Tanaka's room. He knew Tanaka was onto him, always a little more suspicious than anyone else, but he never thought this would happen. Tanaka etched a tiny crack in his act the moment he started skipping practice a year ago. The crack grew each time Ennoshita let his guard waver, every time Tanaka looked a little too closesly. The harmless crack grew and grew until it seemed as if someone hit it, it would break. And that night, Ennoshita's act had been broken. Broken beyond repair. Broken beyond ever fixing it or getting past it or forgetting it. And Ennoshita hated himself for it.

“Tanaka, I’m so sorry you have to deal with this...I’m sorry you have to deal with me...” Ennoshita whispered.

“It’s okay Ennoshita, don't be sorry. You know I'm here for you,” Tanaka said. He continued to rub circles across Ennoshita’s shoulder with his thumb. Enno sleepily mumbled something that sounded like a thank you. Tanaka decided to start running his fingers through his hair again when Ennoshita finally calmed down. Shortly after he stopped crying, Ennoshita’s breathing slowed down. He was exhausted. He quickly fell asleep against Tanaka, the warmth and comfort of his embrace made him feel secure. Tanaka stayed up long after he did, running his fingers through his hair, processing what happened that night. _What do I do now? What’s going to happen now?_ Tanaka was never really one to worry about the future and plan everything out, but for once he wished he had all the answers and everything figured out. It was the first time he really panicked over the unknown. Tanaka slowly drifted asleep after taking a deep breath telling himself that Ennoshita opening up to him was only the first step, and that this couldn't be fixed over night. He wanted nothing more than to stay there holding Ennoshita forever and keeping him safe. Unfortunately, that’s not what happened; quite the contrary, that’s almost the opposite of what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm so sorry, it hurt just as much to write as it does to read I'm sure. If nothing major happens, I'll be updating again next month probably. I applied for a couple new jobs this week, so if I get hired somewhere (I really hope I do I'm a broke ass bitch) I may post less frequently, but we shall see. I'll do my best. As always, thank you for reading, and your comments always put the biggest smile on my face, I'm so happy you guys enjoy it :)


	8. Business as Usual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, casually posting a chapter over two months later ,, lol. I'm so sorry for the long wait, I've been dealing with school and health problems (nothing too serious !! I'm not dying don't worry) but I slowly yet surely managed to finally finish writing and editing this chapter. I can't make any promises about when the next update will come out since finals are in a month, but we shall see. Thank you for being patient and I hope you enjoy this long overdue chapter :) (also I've been thinking about changing the name of this fic ???? I've grown to hate it since it's much less relevant than I planned, but I feel like it's too late to change it now. Would changing it be the worst thing in the world ? Idk man, let me know, I'm torn)

When Tanaka woke up, the bed felt bigger than it did the night before. Memories from the previous night flooded his mind as he realized why his bed felt empty; Ennoshita wasn’t there. He sat up and scanned his room. The clothes he borrowed were folded neatly on the edge of the bed, but other than that, he was gone without a trace. Tanaka sat up and held his head in his hands, heart sinking. He didn’t know what his next step should be. What happened the night before was a lot to take in. He decided he would deal with it just how he did with everything else; he would play it by ear. He would see Ennoshita at practice and school soon enough anyways.

* * *

 

Tanaka didn’t see Ennoshita at practice all weekend.  _ Most likely to let the bruises fade,  _ was the conclusion he came to. He texted Enno to check up on him, but was left on read. Ennoshita finally showed his face at morning practice before school started, telling Ukai he had a wicked migraine over the weekend. Tanaka carefully approached him in the club room after practice.

“Hey Ennoshita,” he said, awkwardly moving his hand as he decided whether or not he wanted to place his hand on Ennoshita’s shoulder. He decided against it.

“Hi Tanaka,” he said as he threw his bag over his shoulder. There was an awkward pause in the conversation.

“So...how are you?” Tanaka asked, not sure where to start

“Fine...and you?” Ennoshita said smoothly. 

“Pretty good…” Tanaka said, looking puzzled. How could Ennoshita act as if nothing happened? He squinted at his teammate, trying to figure him out before his train of thought was interrupted.

“Is something wrong?” Enno asked innocently, blinking. 

“No…” Tanaka said.

“Well, then I’ll see you at lunch,” Ennoshita said, patting his shoulder before walking away. Tanaka watched him walk out of the club room. He was scarily nonchalant. If Tanaka didn’t know any better, he might not have even noticed that Enno was forcing it. But Tanaka could hear the artificial tone in his voice. It was frightening how easily he played it cool at lunch, talking to the other second years with ease. Tanaka studied him closely. Ennoshita caught on and made eye contact with Tanaka, and Tanaka finally got the moment he waited for. Ennoshita’s act wavered for a moment, letting Tanaka take a quick look at what was really going on inside his head. Ennoshita gave him a look as to say  _ “Don’t stare at me.”  _ Tanaka looked down and started picking at his lunch. He looked up and caught Enno’s eye again, giving him a look to try and say  _ “We have to talk.” _ Ennoshita ignored him and continued to converse with the other second years. Tanaka started to poke and stab at his food, hating the whole situation. He was frustrated.

* * *

Tanaka couldn’t peel his eyes away from Ennoshita at practice after school. He couldn’t help but study him closely, noticing every little mannerism unique to him and him alone. He noticed Ennoshita had a tendency to zone out a lot that night. Slowly, it looked like he let his guard down until his eyes were glassed over as his mind traveled to a different world. He was hard to read, but Tanaka knew he had a lot on his mind. He could see it. He wondered how no one else saw it, he wondered how he didn’t see it before. He wanted Ennoshita to be happy, and as soon as he talked to Ennoshita he could be the hero and help Ennoshita. It would be simple, all he had to do was talk to him. Enno could finally be open about his problems to Tanaka, and Tanaka could be his savior and fix all his problems. The friendship would grow stronger and everyone would get a happy ending, Tanaka is sure of it. All he had to do was have a serious conversation with him.

On the other side of the gym, Ennoshita could feel Tanaka staring at him. He tried his best to keep a neutral expression on his face and ignore it. He knew Tanaka well enough to know he’d pester for a long time. Ennoshita felt regret bubble up inside him and began to cloud his mind. _ I shouldn’t have told him, _ he thought.  _ I shouldn’t have even gone to his house.  _ It was foolish for him to let someone help him in the first place. He couldn’t help but replay his breakdown in his head, and the fact that it was all in front of someone, Tanaka of all people, killed him. He told himself that it would blow over eventually, as long as he kept playing dumb. If he kept acting like everything was fine, then Tanaka would stop worrying. Opening up to Tanaka was a one time thing, and Ennoshita swore to himself it would never happen again.

After practice, Tanaka and Ennoshita walked towards their houses together in silence. The silence was comfortable for Ennoshita, but not so much for Tanaka. Tanaka glanced at Ennoshita every couple seconds, looking for any indication of what he was thinking, but Ennoshita just kept a blank face. When they got to the intersection where their paths split up, Tanaka broke the silence. “Hey, Ennoshita? Do you want to come over tonight?”

“Hmmm. Sorry, but you’re on your own for studying and homework tonight, I have a lot of my own work to do,” Ennoshita said.

“Oh, well...I was thinking we could just like, y’know, hang out or something instead of just studying,” Tanaka said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “You could stay the night if you want,” he offered. Ennoshita tilted his head like an innocent puppy.

“Why would I want to do that?” he asked. Tanaka squinted his eyes, trying to read Enno. “It’s a school night dumbass, now go home and do your homework,” Enno continued after the awkward pause.

“O-Okay then…” Tanaka said slowly.

“See you tomorrow,” Ennoshita said over his shoulder before heading down his route, leaving Tanaka to stare at his back.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow…” Tanaka said. He sighed as he watched Ennoshita become smaller and smaller. He dragged his feet across the gravel as he walked home. It looked like being the hero was going to be harder than he thought. All he wanted to do was sit down and seriously  _ talk _ to Ennoshita, but it seemed Enno wanted no part of that.  _ If this is his way of trying to make me worry less, it’s not working.  _

* * *

The next couple days were just the same. Enno kept to himself as much as he usually did, talking to the people always had, and rarely letting his guard down. Tanaka kept trying to pry little by little when he got the chance, but Ennoshita brushed him off every single time. Tanaka got less patient with each passing moment. He wanted Ennoshita to open up on his own, but he grew tired of waiting.

Tanaka watched Ennoshita as they walked home together as they usually do. He took a deep breath before saying, “Ennoshita?”

“Hm?” Ennoshita hummed, turning his head to look at Tanaka.

“How have you been doing?” 

“Fine.” Ennoshita said curtly, looking ahead.

“Are you sure?” Tanaka began to pry.

“Yup, positive,” Ennoshita said.

Tanaka sighed before finally deciding he was tired of beating around the bush. “Ennoshita, you know we have to talk about what happened eventually-”

“Oh my fucking GOD, will you just stop?” Ennoshita said, raising his voice. He turned around, stopping Tanaka dead in his tracks. “Stop acting like I’m some damsel in distress or something, okay?”

“Ennoshita, I don’t think you’re a ‘damsel in distress,’ I-”

“Then stop acting like it.”

“I’m not! I just-”

“Yes you  _ are _ . You keep acting like I’m some poor helpless child who needs to be coddled. Just drop it, okay? Why can’t you just trust me when I say I’m fine?” Ennoshita said, his voice getting even louder.

“Ennoshita, you  _ know _ damn well why!” Tanaka said, getting exasperated himself. “I just want to help, okay?”

“Why? You can’t wave a magic wand and make all my problems disappear into thin air, so stop acting like you can. I don’t need your help, I can take care of myself.”

“But you’re  _ not _ taking care of yourself!” Tanaka blurted out. He was trying so hard to help, but all Enno did was push him away. How was he supposed to be the hero at this rate? A heavy silence fell between the two as Ennoshita’s blood started to boil.

“How would you know? You don’t know a  _ damn _ thing about me Tanaka, even if you think you do, you know nothing!” Ennoshita yelled, balling his hands up into fists. “ You don’t know who I am, you don’t know what I feel, or what I think, so how the hell would you know what’s best for me?”

“That’s because you won’t _ let _ me know. Why are you so damn afraid of letting people in Ennoshita, why are you so afraid of letting  _ me _ in? I’m trying to help because that’s what friends do,” Tanaka yelled back as he held his arms out waiting for an answer. 

“It’s not worth the effort,” Ennoshita said, scowling.

“What’s not worth the effort? Me trying to help?  _ Being friends _ ?” Tanaka stared at Enno expectantly. Ennoshita clenched his jaw.

“Why don’t you just do us both a favor and fuck off,” Ennoshita spat.

“Oh so now you want me to fuck off? Would that make you feel better?” Tanaka said sarcastically, placing his hands on his hips.

“As a matter of fact, it  _ would _ ,” Ennoshita said.

“Okay, fine, you get your wish,” Tanaka said, holding his hands up and backing away. “I’m done. Sorry for actually caring,” he said coldly before turning around and heading towards his neighborhood. 

“Whatever,” Ennoshita said, voice quivering ever so slightly. He walked away, and before he knew it he was running home, hoping the sound of his feet hitting the ground would drown out his thoughts.  _ Idiot idiot idiot idiot, _ he repeated to himself, not sure if he was calling Tanaka or himself an idiot.

Tanaka angrily stomped towards his house. He felt tears sting his eyes, and used his jacket sleeve to wipe them away before they could even fall. He wanted nothing more than to turn around and run after Ennoshita, but he stood his ground and kept walking without hesitation. Little did he know, Ennoshita was hoping he would do the same as he quite literally ran from his problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: Before I say anything else, I want to make it clear I do not think the same way Tanaka does in this chapter. I know that no one person can be a hero or savior in situations like this, and I intend to keep this realistic. Tanaka won't be like this for the whole fic, he WILL have a wake up call. I want to clear that up in case it wasn't already clear and I don't want anyone to assume the worst. ANYWAYS, now that that's out of the way, thank you all for reading, the amount of support I've gotten on this fic and my other recent one shots is amazing :) I'm not sure when the next update will be, and I may squeeze another one shot in between this chapter and the next one, only time will tell at this point. Again, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it :)

**Author's Note:**

> Ahh hopefully I will be able to update in the near future, I'll try my best to find time to write more. Anyways, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! Be on the lookout for an update soon because boy am I excited to write this fic ;)


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